Today's Diabetic Term & Condition:

MANUTE BOLUS--Insulin for a former NBA star from Sudan.

PURINE SIMPLE--Lab that requires pee only, no blood.

ONE TOUCH FOOTBALL--What LifeScan employees play during lunch.

ACCU-CHECKERS--Board game where players do a test with every move.

CHARLES SWAB--Alcohol prep for diabetic investors.

PLANTUS--What you give to diabetic plants.

PUMP MY RIDE--TV show about refurbishing an old, beat-up insulin pump.

JOAN JETT INJECTOR--High pressure device that propels insulin through thick leather pants.

VOLLEYBOLUS--Insulin for beach snacks between points.

SHORT ACTING INSULIN--Hormone for diabetic dwarfs.

FRUCTOAST--Raising a glass of Hi-C in tribute.

BASEBOLUS--Insulin for hot dogs and peanuts at the ball park.

ALPOGLYCEMIA--Diabetic canine condition from skipping a meal.

BOLUSTUFFING--Insulin to cover what’s inside the turkey.

MUDBLOOD SUGAR--Test result for magical kids named Hermione.

BOLUSTRAWBERRIES--Insulin to cover a healthy treat.

MISTEAK--Bolusing too much, too soon, for beef.

BOLUSTRIKE--Insulin for bowling alley food.

SYRINJURY--Bruised injection site.

GLUCA BRASI--Sugar that sleeps with the fishes.

BOLUSCEREAL--Insulin to cover Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Cheerios, etc.

A1c-SAW--Wildly fluctuating glycosylated hemoglobins.

BOLUSOUP--Insulin to cover minestrone, chowder, and bisque.

KETONE COPS--Police who break down fat for energy.

INCORRECTION BOLUS--Wildly miscalculated correction bolus.

MERYL STRIP--Blood testing product used by a Hollywood starlet.

URINETROUBLE-A hyperglycemic need to pee with no bathroom in sight.

SPANCREAS--Condition wherein diabetes feels like a big ol’ ass whoopin.’

COFFEE CANNULA--Container for used supplies.

E PLURIBUS BOLUS--“Out of one vial, many reservoirs.”

GLYCOSYLATED HEMOGOBLIN--Trick-or-Treater who has eaten all his candy.

KETOASSAHOLIS—Pompous, arrogant, in-denial diabetic.

RUNNING WITH THE BOLUS--Annual Spanish fiesta event.

PUMPLONA--Where you can see people RUNNING WITH THE BOLUS.

THAIABETIC--Diabetic craving Pad Thai, Nam Sod, and Chicken Satay.

HYPOGLYCE ME TOO--Condition wherein a non-diabetic cuts you a piece of cake and rationalizes that he/she might as well have one too.

AFTERMATH--Period following a bolus calculation.

GILLIGAN’S ISLE OF LANGERHANS--Cells that make insulin for coconut cream pie.

SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMICS--Maximizing space in your carry-on luggage by stuffing your supplies on one side of the bag.

'EXCUSE ME' BOLUS--Rest room injection while your meal gets cold.

A1c-3PO--Blood test for droids.

SKINSULIN--Insulin leaked from an infusion or injection site.

O.J. SYMPTOM--When your spouse threatens to cut your head off if you don’t start drinking that damn juice.

LANCET ARMSTRONG--What you stick your finger with before a bike ride.

TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN PHENOMENON--When you “Knock Three Times” with your head against a wall trying to figure out why you’re 278 before breakfast.

HUMALOG CABIN--Insulin for covering pancake syrup. See also, NOVOLOG CABIN

TYPOGLYCEMIA--When the lab records your 210 as 21.

RAPID ACTING INSULIN--What you take when you go white water rafting.

SACCHARINSULT--When you ask for Equal and they give you the “pink” stuff.

HYPOCOOPERATION--Less than compliant demeanor of a hypoglycemic diabetic.

PASS-OUT PASTE--Glucose gel, cake frosting. see also, CRÈME OF CONSCIOUSNESS

HYPOCLARITY--Point at which blood sugar has risen enough to make a hypoglycemic diabetic think he is fine, but really still look and act like Foster Brooks.